Episode 174: Live Event: Mormon Fight Songs for Dummies

31 comments on “Episode 174: Live Event: Mormon Fight Songs for Dummies”

    • Kevin Reply

      No doubt John is trying to foist some subliminal porn on us. That would be SO like him!

      As for you, Richard: You just go magnify something else. Your calling, maybe.

      What really disturbs me about this episode (at least so far, since I haven’t listened to it yet) is that the file name that shows up on my ipod is “Moron Fight Songs.” Has Mormon Expression sunk to a new low of apostasy? Is such a thing even possible?

      • Chuck Borough Reply

        I’m sure this was meant to go with the “For Dummies” theme. Somebody once formed a singing group at the institution. He brought diet Cokes and apple slices, which caused a better attendance. They became pretty good and came to be known as the Moron Tab ‘N Apple Choir. 

          • Elder Vader

            Sorry Heather.  I guess I misunderstood.  I thought you had used photoshop or something to modify the image on the flyer.  Did you just copy the image?  Because that kinda makes it even cooler. 

          • Anonymous

            Why can’t I reply to you?  Very odd.  Anyway, no apology necessary.  I was just teasing.  The image on the flyer is from a free clip art website.  That image was “unmolested.”  The image that used to be at the top of this page, however…… haha.

          • Richard of Norway

            Hey! Now it’s been switched back! Oh well, the porn was fun while it lasted. 😉

            Btw, you can’t reply to posts more than four deep, because of the indentation limitation we set (to keep posts readable). It’s frustrating, I know. :-/

    • Anonymous Reply

      I’m inspired to suggest the new episode “Circumcision for Dummies”. There’s a whole list of penile topics we could discuss…

    • Rich Rasmussen Reply

      I grew up with a bumper sticker on my desk that said “Mormons Have Huge Organs,” I guess it rubbed off (no pun intended).

  1. Elder Vader Reply

    Some quick thoughts:

    I enjoyed this podcast a lot more than I thought I would.  Great job. 

    Doctrines that are buried within mormonism.  It’s always funny when some of the vestiges of these old doctrines bubbles to the surface.  Apologists hate it, and always claim that certain things aren’t doctrinal.  But there are real world relics of those doctrines that are laying around.  I’m thinking of how Utah uses (used?) the firing squad for death penalty as a vestige of blood atonement doctrine.  Also, the whole ‘I get my own planet’ thing. 

    Loved the bagpipes in praise to the man.  Boo yah. 

    Didn’t know that it used to be sung to the tune of hail to the chief.  Also awesome. 

  2. Chuck Borough Reply

    Re: “Doctrines that are buried within mormonism.”
    The most saleint to me is one involving the “tradition” that precludes praying to Jesus. There are quite a few hymns in the Mormon hymn book that are prayers directly to Him. “I Need Thee Every Hour” is the favorite of many General Authorities, including, for example, David O. McKay. In it, all three verses are spoken directly to Jesus. (Even asking for Him to bless us.) “Oh Bless me now my Savior, I come to thee.” Another is “Jesus, the very thought of Thee.”
    Changes have been made to some hymns to get rid of the name Jesus. One very significant one with the words “You who unto to Jesus, You who unto Jesus, You who unto Jesus for refuge have fled.” Now it reads, “You who unto the Savior, You who unto the Savior, etc.”
    It’s obvious that in the Early Church, Mormons spoke directly to Jesus. Even in the “First Vision,” Joseph was not allowed to speak with the Father, but to Jesus only, and now it’s the opposite. Mormons are counseled not to speak to Jesus, but only unto the Father (in the name of Jesus, lest He should be entrely left out.) We never even hear “Thank you Jesus.” Instead, Mormons thank His father “for” Him – no direct thanks allowed.

    This is one of the reasons many think of Mormons as “Not Christians,” because Mormons do not communicate with Christ, except with His Father as intermediary.

    Another song with an interesting change in it is so popular among so many people other than Mormons, that it always bothers me. I sing the old words even at Church. It’s “Joy to the World.” The beautiful words, “And Heav’n and Nature Sing” have been changed to “And Saints and Angels sing.” I think this is because “Nature” is a four-letter word to Mormon leaders. (My God – evolution, etc. Or masturbation – eek.) And “Natural Man is an enemy to God”, etc. Had to get that word out of there.   

    • Matt Reply

      Re: “You who unto Jesus”

      I think this was changed to “Who unto the Savior” not to get rid of the name of Jesus, but to get rid of that funny sounding “Yoo-hoo! unto Jesus” phrase.

      It’s like that Spanish language hymn “Oid el toque del clarin” that used to say “con dones de amor” meaning “with gifts of love”, which is just one space removed from the same sounding “condones de amor”, or “condoms of love”.

  3. Chuck Borough Reply

    In leading the music for many years in several Wards, I do not sing the words: “Those who reject this glad message, shall never such happiness know,” nor the words, “Those who fight against zion will surely be smitten at last.” I move my arms and let the others sing, but I remain rather obviously silent. It has brought quite a few conversations over the years.

    The Jehovah’s Witnesses song book (at least the one used forty years ago) has many “hymns” with words like these, what heppens to all the non-witnesses, but the Mormon Hymn book has only this one that is this obvious. There was understandably lots of anger when this hymn was written. Now that the Mormons are no longer angry, we should change the words. “While those who reject this glad message will hear it again in the Spirit World.” “Those who fight against zion (as Saul) will have to be converted.” (smile – not likely.)

  4. Chuck Borough Reply

    Wo – another change I forget to mention. I’m an old Grandpa, so I noticed this one right away. “We’re always glad when Grandpa comes; When Grandpa comes, we’re gay!”

    Changed to “We’re always glad when Grandpa comes; When Grandpa comes, Hooray!”

    It’s interesting to me that the Church would allow the theft of a perfectly good word. What a bunch of idiots who don’t know that “gay” can still just mean “happy.”

    I’m sure laughter in the Jr. Sunday School is what brought on the change, but what a nice opportunity for a lesson on the meanings of words and their uses.

    • Kevin Reply

      You gotta watch that stuff with kids.

      My eighth grade teacher, Sister Aloysius, once had our class discuss the Bible story of Balaam and his talking ass. Several of us practically injured ourselves suppressing snickers.

  5. Jake Reply

    To me, the most rabid Mormon fight song will always be “Up Awake ye Defenders of Zion.” This was the “official” theme song of my mission and we had to sing it standing up and as loud as possible at every zone conference. After singing all the verses you felt sufficiently energized and fanatical enough to go attack something. Even then as a young TBM, I wondered where this fit in with the basic message of Jesus. Fortunately, after my mission I found that it was hardly ever sung in normal church meetings. However, when I finally did hear it in a normal meeting, I realized that the church had changed the wording. “Remember the wrongs of Missouri, forget not the fate of Nauvoo” was changed to “Remember the trials of Missouri, forget not the courage of Nauvoo.” And the third verse was missing altogether: “Shall we bear with oppression forever? Shall we tamely submit to the foe? While the ties of our kindred they sever, and the blood of our prophets shall flow.” Perhaps scariest of all, I verified the most recent wording in the “Children’s Support Materials” section of lds.org.

  6. Kyle Harris Reply

    I absolutely loved the closing hymn. I love that song. I also love Mormon music very much, its probably the only thing I actually miss about church.  

    It occurred to me that if they would just sing songs and do the sacrament in sacrament meeting I would actually consider going back, at least for that one hour. 

  7. Jack Rodwell Reply

    amazing podcast . i wish i could have been there to.  the only thing that would have made this better would have been using the original pipe organ from the tabernacle or conference center  .  im a musician and would give anything to play that thing for a few hours . they are works of art.  congrats on all the success in general and dont think about stopping soon

  8. Buffalo Reply

    Drums and guitar did nothing to distract from the “spirit” of these songs, and makes them far more interesting. The COB needs to jump on the EV bandwagon pronto. Sacrament meeting needs a shot of adrenalin.

    • brandt Reply

      If you thought the drums and guitar did nothing to distract from the spirit, you should have been there live.  That bagpipe really brought the spirit with Praise to the Man, even with the old “Stain Illinois” line.

      I’ve been to a few rowdy churches out here in Michigan, with full bands, and let me say this – it is a pretty freaking cool experience.

  9. roughrider1901 Reply

    Goosebumps! I love the way this music sounds, if only we were allowed a little latitude in our meetings to make the music this way, our ward choirs would not be so pitiful!!

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