Apr 11, 2012

I Lost My Faith

It’s such a simple phrase.

Yet somehow, coming to grips with this reality has been a long, painstaking process.  I ignorantly thought that once I accepted this statement, the hard part would be over.  And yet paradoxically, I have been resisting coming to grips because I knew I would be facing a rough road, probably similar to what Tierza is anticipating in her last blog entry.

When losing your faith becomes reality, as a Mormon, who do you tell?  Of course, my wife is aware of the issue.  And to the extent possible, she can probably accept it even more readily than I.  But admitting this fact to other family and church associates will be a much more difficult task.  And then, as kids grow older, how do you let them in on the awful secret? More

By Michael Uncategorized 6 Comments

Apr 10, 2012

The Silence

. . .

Do you hear that?

That is the sound of fear.  The sound of my standing – still – in my journey: Afraid to go forward . . . Not willing to go back.

That is the sound of lips not speaking any words that might hurt.

That is the sound of a mind not daring to even think too much about it . . .

For fear the words might just squeeze out. More

By Tierza Uncategorized 134 Comments

Apr 8, 2012

Stuck Between a Rock and… my Parents

I no longer want to be on the roles of the LDS church.  Almost daily I wrestle with whether or not resignation is the right thing to do.  I never reach a satisfactory conclusion.

The few times I contemplated formal resignation during the early days of my disaffection, I always concluded that resigning was playing the church’s game… agreeing that they have some sort of authority over me.  I convinced myself that not participating and not paying my tenth was sufficient.  I decided that while my ordinances meant nothing to me, they were important to my parents.  I saw no reason to cause them pain over something that means so little to me. More

By Heather C. Uncategorized 17 Comments

Mar 14, 2012

My Tentative Compromise

I have learned through sad experience that conversations online are sometimes incredibly toxic.  If you don’t know what I mean, check out the comments section of any post on The Huffington Post, or the Salt Lake Tribune, or Meridian Magazine.  We have all fallen prey to the sense that online communication somehow allows us to be more rude than we otherwise might be.  Even using my real identity doesn’t seem to solve the problem.  So I usually refrain from even reading the comments, let alone commenting.

But someone suggested I respond to John L’s post, rather than attacking in the comments, and even though I know I am on the wrong side of this dichotomy to begin with, I thought I would take a stab at it.  Usually, as I allow a little time for my thoughts to solidify, I realize that I am not necessarily trying to argue down or discredit someone else’s position, but rather I want to simply present a differing perspective.  I left behind the notion that I have all the answers for everyone a long time ago (if 4 years counts as a long time).  So at the outset, let me give my apologies if I have been too mean-spirited in my tactics with debating online.  I really don’t take myself as seriously as I sometimes make it sound. More

By Michael Uncategorized 7 Comments

Mar 13, 2012

The Vanguard

There are many terms that get employed in metaphor so often that they begin to lose any real meaning. “The Vanguard” is one of them. In the age of machine guns and smart bombs, the term has lost much of its impact, but it is worth looking at one more time. In ancient battles the vanguard were the first troops to enter battle. The vanguard was responsible for the first wave of attack, and the vanguard always suffered the worst casualties. Battle has always been a nasty affair. It is brutal. And the kinds of battles over religion, family, and belief we are waging today can be equally as brutal. The scars are not physical, but the emotional scars can run deeper and have a more lasting effect.

Historically speaking, battles were often very short–many times a matter of minutes–and the important actions by a few were often the pivotal points to entire conflicts. The rest of the troops were often there only for defense or support. Even in very large battles the actions of the few brave souls that rushed in first made all of the difference. The vanguard advances the battle; the vanguard determines what the fronts are; the vanguard determines when and where the war can end. More

By John Larsen Uncategorized 39 Comments

Mar 12, 2012

Here I Stand

My relationship with Mormonism is complex. I have served as a commentator, critic, research, occasional defender, and a former member. I have been in the shoes of the skeptic and the believer; I have lived on both sides of the fence. My views on Mormonism represent a natural growth and progression—one that I think has been healthy and productive although it has proceeded through many patches of personal suffering. Real growth often entails pain and moving from one stage of life to another and is usually not easy.

My progression out of Mormonism began early in my childhood. Seeds of doubt were planted very young that took a long time to germinate and grow. I was never in hurry to get out of the Church and never really wanted to do so. Mormonism was not just my faith it was also my place in the world. It represented who I was and how I interacted with the world and was a large part of our family and cultural identity. Following my faithful mission and my return to BYU, I sought ways to make the faith work even though the gulf between the Church and reality were increasingly at odds. The world view that was perpetuated by the Church and the reality that was supported by reason, observation and science were irreconcilable when given more than a surface view. I believe there was always with me uneasiness—a general sense that something was just not right which grew over time to the point of being unbearable. Of course, during this phase I usually bought into the party line perpetuated by the Church which suggested that any problems were not with the system, but were with me. More

By John Larsen Uncategorized 95 Comments

Jan 3, 2012

Answers

I have attended something like 450 testimony meetings in my life and four times as many sacrament meetings, not to mention countless hours of sunday school, primary, Relief Society, seminary, Institute, a mission, and home and visiting teachers.  In all those hours one message loomed –

WE HAVE THE ANSWERS! ! ! !  We HAVE the answers.  We have the ANSWERS.  We have THE answers.

WE have THE answers!!!

But what answers, exactly, does the church have?  Consider, for instance, the classic: How do I get to the Celestial Kingdom? More

By Tierza Uncategorized 13 Comments